The Defining Decade by Dr. Meg Jay is a very interesting book comprising personal research and experiences that draws insights and revelations from her own private practice as a clinical psychologist. In the nearly 230 pages of this book, every young adult who is lost, confused, frustrated and wandering in their 20s can find clarity, certainty, impetus and above all the right information about what to expect from and how to make the best use of your 20s.
As much as I’d like to write a detailed review about what is great and what’s not so great about the book, I believe that every book deserves to be read in its entirety before being judged. No single review or reviewer can ever do justice to a book.
However, the insights from the book should be motivation enough for you to buy yourself a copy. Here are some of them:
- Everybody has identity capital. This is what determines who you are, who you are becoming and who you will be in the future. Subsequently, this will also decide the many aspects of your future.
- The notion that 20s are a time for continuous exploration, uncertainty, aimlessness and self discovery is biased, untruthful and extremely dangerous. Its good to be in a phase of discovery for a while, but you’ve got to start making decisions.
- Every decade corresponds to a certain level of optimum effect for a defined set of human development. Once the window of opportunity is missed, there is not going back to it.
- It is the most unexpected people who turn out to be the best slings to catapult you in life. It is also the people closest to you that hold you back and prevent you from growing. Weak ties can be strong and strong ties can be a weakness.
- A lot of young adults frequently repeat words that are used to express and assert uncertainty and indecisiveness. Certain words and their attributes like ‘should’, ‘maybe’, ‘sort of’ and ‘I don’t know’ are more damaging that one can imagine.
- A lot of people directly or not influence you in the way you live your life. A lot of them are the ones who do not want to see you change or do something out of the blue- actions they would be afraid of carrying out themselves.
- A person’s true reality including the measure of their happiness and position in life is not defined by their social media profile.
- The challenge of every 20 year old is not to connect to the present or the future, but to connect the present with the future.
There is a lot more this book has to offer and whether you agree with the author or not, it is a fascinating book that, if you are in your 20s, will definitely leave you with something to think about.